Happy Sunday, people. Another week, you did it. Congrats. I woke up this morning with a realization. Before getting out of bed, I scrolled through Facebook. I found two videos condemning Donald Trump and the state of affairs in the Presidential election. I, then, had my morning coffee and found myself watching an interview with Donald Trump on Face the Nation. I looked down at my computer, and found myself reading an article in The New York Times about guess who? Yeah, you guessed right, Donald Trump.
I’ve already mentioned the man’s name four times in a paragraph. Every time I hear it, I feel pukey and gray. I can honestly say hearing his name is making me sick. The man is the media, not the other way around. He drives a greater viewership. Good for these media companies. They are making money on the most obvious gold mine in recent history.
But I can’t do it. I’m giving up. I don’t even care anymore. The entire country is spending so much time analyzing his comments and campaign. I have a theory, the man just does not know what is going to come out of his mouth next. But it is vitriolic and powerful, so he brings people into the political race.
I had a realization. I thought, hey, if I was a reporter with free reign of my content, I wouldn’t report on Donald Trump. And then, I thought, wait I can just do that with WordPress as my sounding board.
So I am making you a promise here. If you click on any of my links or read any of my writing, you will never ever hear me mention Donald Trump’s name again.
And as a sending off to the man we all love to hate, here is my favorite video. Cheers to the start of a new beginning. I will talk about everything but Trump. Because my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and news feeds are filled with his name. On this site, I am creating a refuge from the Donald Trump infested internet.
If you are craving Trump jokes, I recommend the Instagram account @chumppresident. I also recommend Last Week Tonight, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, SNL and your other favorite comedians for all Trump jokes.
A New Hope
Luke Skywalker came into the universe with a huge midichlorian count. He was supposed to return balance to the force. With this post, I am going to attempt to show people that there are corners of the internet that aren’t touched by the Evil Empire.
There are amazing parts of this world. I just don’t think following the mainstream media is a way to find them. There is more out there than the political race. Adventures of a Little Boy is a place I hope I can create to keep you and me sane until November.
After my fun filled morning, I drove to work and listened to what I thought would tip my scales in the other direction. I have finished Danielle LaPorte’s Beautiful Writers Podcast. Instead I searched the Podcast ether for a new beacon of light. I found, sitting there waiting for me, Brené Brown.
After talking with some of the wisest people I know in my life, I have become a big believer in fate. I have strong beliefs that angels are real. And I have seen with my own eyes that monsters are not just under my bed. There is much more in this world than what elementary sensations, language and science can decipher.
The podcast that I found today intersected exactly with what I was thinking about. It was like the universe and I found each other on the traffic-filled stretch of I-95. I had been asking myself questions about my life, and today, those questions were answered.
In several interviews I listened to today, Dr. Brown talked about how her research has helped people move through life more smoothly.
First, there is a difference between guilt and shame. Some people consider shame to be the most powerful emotion in human existence. Brené Brown defines “shame” as this.
I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.
And she defines guilt as something much more malleable. It is something that can be fixed. A benchmark to jump off of, rather than something that swallows your soul.
I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.
For example, say you failed a test, or lost a job, or maybe you even lost someone in your life because of your actions.
After my father died, I felt shame. I felt horrible because I felt like I had let him and myself down. We could not save him from cancer. So the six weeks after he died were filled with pure suicidal rage. The greatest journey that I have endured is turning that story from shame to guilt to acceptance.
I could not have done anything more to save my father. His pain was transferred into me. I had to spend over a year sucking all that pain out and spitting it out. I have turned myself into someone who takes traumas and turns them into creative passions.
People have come up to my family and I and have said, I love Charlie’s writing. And it is not something I ever expected. But I churn out posts, stories and poems that make me happy. I am simultaneously dealing with my Dad’s death. I get a lot out of this blog, and I am happy that so many others do too.
I believe suicide and depression in my life has all stemmed from shame. Brené Brown, more so than any CBT therapy or medication, has helped me figure out my own head.
So even after an interesting morning, today turned out really well. I was able to think more about forgiving myself for the biggest trauma of my life. And that is where you all come in. In sharing my story in an open and vulnerable way, I have moved along the process of cleansing my body. And having it met with empathy, compassion and trust? That has made all the difference to me.
So thank you to all who read. It really means the world to me. The opposite of shame, harrassment and death is unbridled creativity.
Life is ticking away for all of us. If you have been part of this process, know you have done something super meaningful with your life. You are always, and will ever be, enough.
I’ll leave you with a Sarah Kay poem. She shared this one at a show I snuck myself into a month or so ago. She reminds us that love does not exist in boundaries and back rooms. It is part of every breath we take. Never forget your heart is beating, and that is how you know you are alive, blessed and infinite.
peace, love and unborn desires,
CR
Adventures of a Little Boy 